Several years ago, there was a woman in New York City that posted about her desire to find a rich guy for marriage. She proclaimed her beauty as her primary asset and was looking for the exact names of hang outs for rich men. She alleges that she was marriage minded.
A successful local stock trader chimed in with this infamous reply:
Your offer, from the perspective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity... in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a "depreciating asset" and I am an "earning asset." Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain: you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a "trading position," not a "buy and hold". Hence, the rub... marriage.
It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following:. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the rich guy hasn't found you, if only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
Living in Orange County, Ca., I see this mindset all the time. This concept is as old as prostitution...and it's basically the same thing. Granted, the fellow who penned that pompous reply was probably doing so out of frustration over his inability to find a hot, young girl, despite his receding hairline, diminutive stature or who knows what. Still, it highlights the notion of mutual exploitation by both sexes.
Take the case of a former friend whom I'll call "Thuy."
Thuy was a cupie-doll Asian beauty that looked like she came from an Anime series. Although she was in her early 30's, she could've passed for 21. I never saw her leave the house without $1500 Jimmy Choos, $4000 in Prada accessories and make up suitable for a spot on "America's Next Top Model."
She was educated, too, having spent the better part of a decade in school. All of this was funded by her rich boyfriend, with whom she was living. She came with a bonus: a 13 year old son and a four year old Scion xB (which would come in handy later.)
This woman had more shoes than Imelda Marcos and when it came to purses, she had more leather than a Ferrari's interior. She was articulate, educated and a great conversationalist.
After several years with the rich boyfriend, who was a rather frumpy looking guy of Chinese or Korean descent, he gave her the boot. This was after years of trotting the globe, on his dime. Apparently, he grew frustrated with her unwillingness to do anything with her life. I'm sure she had her own frustrations with him...as they say, there's two sides to every story.
Now that I think of it, I only saw them together once, but her Facebook was rife with pictures of her at Vegas clubs with her GF's...and other men. But I had seen her at a Vegas club personally, where she was garnering the attention of many a suitor. She never mentioned her bf, but happily partook of the table and bottle service provided. On that night she retreated to her room...alone. In fairness, I never saw her do anything inappropriate and never heard any stories of infidelity.
In any case, her bf finally let her go. She filled up her boxy Scion xB with hundreds of shoe boxes and got her own place. For a few months, it seemed as if she was standing more independently. The bf gave her a monthly stipend, so she was able to "afford" own place and did something she hasn't done in years: she got a job. Her friends breathed a collective sigh of relief, as she seemed to be on track.
It didn't last though, as she soon latched on to another fellow. Within a short time, she quit her job and began another global tour, all funded by the new bf, of course. Pics of her in Venice, Egypt, Greece and Paris all popped up on her Facebook. This time, there were pictures of her new frumpy guy, who was more like her bell hop than her bf, but she looked deliriously happy. I'm sure he's a good guy in his own right, as Thuy was always good at sniffing out the D-bags.
Nevertheless, I promptly deleted her from my FB. I simply couldn't watch a friend repeat the same behavior that led to her unhappiness time and time again. In principle, her behavior seemed consistent with everything that I loathed about stereotypical women. In fairness, if this was a guy friend doing the same thing (dating a hot young girl just because she was hot), I'd have deleted him, too.
Even her closest friends were stunned. Perhaps a bit out of jealousy, I haven't decided, but perhaps they were just perplexed how she could find not one rich guy, but two, when many of her friends are "doing it the hard way."
I still have high hopes for this young lady. I think she's very intelligent, well educated and seems to be an attentive mom (forgiving the notion that her child doesn't travel with her), so she has all the tools she needs in order to be a strong, independent woman.
She's had a few life challenges...she has a child from a guy that doesn't pay support, but she has primary custody and I'm sure she's dated her fair share of bad men. But she lucked out with an ex bf that paid her way through a school and then gave her a stipend to give her a new start. She has all the tools to start with an advantage should she choose to a make a life on her own.
Some might argue that it's just as easy to love a rich guy as a poor one. I disagree. I've never understood the mindset of men who are clearly focusing on looks, or women who focus on money. There's a fine line when a woman equates money with security because invariably, rich, powerful men have options...and absolute power corrupts, absolutely. How does that constant threat offer security?
As for the woman, if her biggest asset is her looks, what happens when her looks fade? The brutal, honest truth is this: we live in Southern California. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. No matter how hot a woman thinks she is, there's 100 more lined up behind her, ready to pounce and many men are simply too dumb, too narcissistic and too egocentric to resist temptation. To too many men, Hugh Hefner is a role model, not a cautionary tale.
Cynics might argue that her one hope is to marry this guy while he's still delirious over his luck in finding such a pretty girl. Still others might argue that he's just as guilty of exploitation and that he'll probably never marry this girl.
It'll be interesting to revisit this in 10 or 15 years to see if she becomes the woman I know she can be...or if she'll become the topic of another post on this Blog.
I'm not sure who is more guilty in this scenario, the "Gold Digger" or the man who exploits the woman based largely on her looks. Either way, it seems obvious that such relationships are unhealthy, as they are built upon superficial judgments.
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