If you do a little research on the culture, their reverence of family (especially their elders), their commitment to education and their drive/ambition for bettering themselves, you'll agree that there's a lot to like. Perhaps that's stereotyping, but I'm basing this on firsthand experiences.
Through my charity work and introductions by friends, I've become very familiar with the Vietnamese community. Based around Westminster/Garden Grove, California and in particular, around Bolsa Ave., a quick visit to any "coffee shop" will give you an idea of why I find Vietnamese women among the most beautiful and classiest Asian women in the world.
(Please spare me your opinions about the girls in the photo above...I simply pulled this image from the internet and am not proclaiming that any of them are particularly beautiful or that they're not.)
While I have actually never BEEN to one of these coffee shops (and that's the story I'm sticking to), I have had the opportunity to date several ladies from SE Asia.
One was a 40+ year old Vietnamese makeup artist who worked the makeup counter at Macy's. She was a true "Bolsa girl." That phrase has many connotations but basically, it usually refers to girls who value designer handbags, dress to the nines wherever they go, wear false eyelashes, have had a breast augmentation or other plastic surgery, go clubbing often and prefer shops like Hermes on Rodeo. That's just one definition, but it appears to be the commonly accepted one.
(Objectively speaking, doesn't this apply to most women in Orange County, whether Hispanic, Middle Eastern or white?)
She was also "O.G.", which means "original gangsta," a term that refers to the Viet gangsters and wanna-be gangsters of the Garden Grove area dating back to the 1980's. Most were harmless and were more like cliques than gangs, but nevertheless, she ran with a rough crowd back in the day (didn't we all?)
Being open minded and not one to judge someone based solely on rumors and their past, I happily accepted a date. She certainly had all the above-noted characteristics of the stereotypical "Bolsa girl" but she was educated...and intelligent women are very hard for me to resist. A nice figure didn't hurt, either.
On the first date, I met her at some hardcore Viet lounge. Inside these lounges, you get served a form of Vietnamese Tapas (and if you've never had Viet food, you should...it's amazing) where patrons smoke like chimneys and gorgeous young Viet ladies serve you in lingerie. As first date locations go, it wasn't my first choice, but she picked it and who am I to say no to gorgeous young waitresses in lingerie?
The date was fairly uneventful, except for the fact that she knew every guy in the room and proceeded to work the room as if she were selling cigarettes inside a Vegas casino. Red flag #1. From what little she did say to me that night, she made it clear that I was "lucky" to be the guy she picked because she could have any guy and she has very high standards. Wow. 'Lucky me,' I was thinking, having just come from a Playboy TV shoot the day before where I filmed four girls, half her age and twice as down to Earth, but that was business and this was pleasure. Or torture. I hadn't decided yet.
The date ended with a hug next to her 20 year old classy Lexus (complete with torn up front seat, probably shredded from studded belts and zipper denim dresses) and I went on my way.
A week went by and she offers to make the next date more memorable, but we needed to make a stop first. Where was that stop? You guessed it: the same place we went before. This time, I was introduced to a table of a dozen of her OG's and other Bolsa girls. The introduction went something like this: Laurie says "Hey everyone, this is Craig," to which two of the girls replied, "oh, is this the boyfriend?" Red flag #2.
Two thoughts were running through my head at this point: 1) Laurie has a boyfriend and he couldn't make it, or 2) I was misrepresented in text conversations between these ladies.
Suffice to say, I was taken aback. This date progressed much like the first and it ended predictably, with me bringing a very-drunk-Laurie back to my place so she could sleep it off. As we laid back talking prior to her passing out, I took the opportunity to probe her with some deeply insightful questions. (By the way: alcohol can be like truth serum...just the right amount ingested by a man or woman can reveal volumes about their feelings and intentions.)
During the discussion, I introduced a long roster of questions to judge compatibility but I applied this strategy very discreetly. Most girls think I'm just making conversation, but I'm digging deep without them knowing it. One of my favorite questions is "where do you see yourself in five years?" This helps me judge whether or not the lady is a gold digger or if she really has goals in life. Another favorite is "assuming you're married by then, what would a typical Monday look like for you?" Another deeply probing question.
Her answers were predictable: she wants to be a stay at home wife working on her own makeup line....a foolish young girl's dream, especially given that she was doing nothing to move in that direction...unless you realize that she was expecting the husband to fund this revolutionary new business idea. Her answer indicated that she would see her man off to work, then do research online, make phone calls, try new products, hit the gym and do further research at other makeup counters. Wow...what an entrepreneur. Why didn't I think of that? Red Flag #3.
For extra credit, factor in her choice of friends. I always remember what my mom said: you can judge a person by the company they keep (yes, I know she didn't say it first.)
Fortunately, it never got to that. Laurie texted me about a week later and noted that she didn't think we'd work because our lifestyles were so different. As understatements go, that was a big one. Either way, I was off the hook.
I'd probably smile at her if I ever saw her again, but I don't go near the Macy's makeup counter often so I doubt I'll ever get the opportunity.
Opinions expressed are those of the author(s)
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