Many of my friends have been close to me for decades. Some give better advice than others, but all are funny and they all likewise care about my happiness.
Still, I have to wonder if they're really more messed up than I am, more lacking social graces or are just generally having fun at my expense.
I have two friends that obsessed with breasts, another believes that sexual performance means the most and several others who are more reasonable.
My female friends are now my primary sounding board, but I still marvel at some of my other friends' pearls of wisdom.
Allow me to cite a few examples:
When I complained to friend once about the wild food my Chinese girlfriend enjoyed, he suggested that I try out the sex with her ASAP. His reasoning was that if she ate gross food, shed put anything in her mouth and the sex would be wild. Amazing reasoning.
I once told my friend I was having trouble choosing between two ladies. He simply asked which had a better rack. I refused to answer, noting that both were ample. His advice? Be wary of a skinny girl with a big rack...she'll always grow into them.
On another occasion, I was pontificating that one gal I was dating was a bit too freaky for my tastes. My friend's suggestion was that I only stay over on nights when her daughter was home, that way there would be limits to how wild she got.
The worst advice I got was from another friend that suggested I was spending too much on lavish dinner dates. He simply sent me a link to a website...for hookers.
In all seriousness, much of this advice is offered tongue in cheek, but it shows how some men think. This is probably why I don't share details with my male friends, nor do I seek their advice much.
Still, one could argue that I could hardly do much worse as of late. My dating calendar had largely settled into a mundane but pleasant routine of dating fairly stable, interesting women who were mostly normal.
I had come close to finding a good one a couple of times, but the more time that passed, the more I saw we weren't compatible.
The simple fact is that every woman is different and the older we get, the more we should be in tune with what our true measures of compatibility are for us as individuals.
The failure for a dating relationship to progress is not necessarily an indication that there's anything wrong with a person, just that they're not a good fit for each other.
There's a saying in the car business: "There's a butt for every seat."
I guess my question is, I've seen plenty of butts, when am I going to bring home a keeper."
If you think about it, finding a mate is like buying a car. You cruise the places where the new models are on display. You become interested and learn a little more. You go online and try to find reviews by others. Then, you take it for a test drive. Is it a high maintenance model? What's the monthly maintenance cost? How many miles on it? Does it carry a lot of baggage? Is the trunk the right size? Is she built for speed or she good for long distance? Have there been a lot of previous owners? And most of all, what are you going to have to trade to land the deal you want?
It shouldn't be that way. I still believe you should like what you like and there are no warranties, expressed or implied. While you might consider all of the above, just remember that people are like cars: they may not be perfect, but with a strong attachment on an emotional level, nearly all flaws can be handled with a little work. Or a good lube job, as my friends might suggest.
Happy motoring.
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